Empathy: The Key to Connection

Over the past several months, I have noticed numerous articles on empathy in my news feed. Themes include, there is an empathy deficit, how to be a more impactful leader by practicing empathy, what does empathy mean, and how to be more empathetic. Empathy is the topic of the day.

As I read through many of the articles, I began to wonder why now there is so much emphasis on empathy. I did not have to wonder for long as I found a possible answer in one of the articles I read from the Scientific American on September 17, 2020:

“America is a country in deep pain. The coronavirus pandemic, racial injustice, economic insecurity, political polarization , misinformation and general daily uncertainty dominate our lives to the point that many people are barely able to cope….It’s no wonder that anxiety, depression and other psychological problems are on the rise.”

The name of the article was, The U.S. Has an Empathy Deficit. I found the title quite interesting. Were other countries demonstrating more empathy than the U.S.? Was this deficit only confined to the U.S.? But I digress.

Regardless of whether America has an empathy deficit compared to other countries, I have noticed a preoccupation with self, versus others, over the past several years in how we behave as a country. We are so divided in so many areas as a country that it seems no one is interested in the opinion of the other. We are only interested in our own. Our capability to be curious about why others feel differently than us has dissipated to a level of selfishness seldom seen before.

The ability to show empathy and see a situation from another point of view requires us to quiet our ego long enough to be curious to learn why another person sees things differently.

I have to admit I fall into this trap sometimes. Once in the trap, we are usually deep in ourselves and often are not open to a different opinion than ours. Empathy is our way out of the trap. Empathy is the ability to set our views aside and connect with others on an emotional level.

The wonderful thing about empathy is that it opens our minds and heart to new possibilities. It does not mean you will change your position on a topic; although you might, it just means you are open enough to learn other possibilities. To explore, get curious, learn, and grow.

Why are some people fearful of empathy? Afraid of growth, learning from others, and changing your mind or position? I can see staying where you are may be comfortable, but I also think it is limiting. Staying put, not showing empathy stifles creativity, learning, and emotional connection. You have probably heard before that we are all hard-wired for connection! If we are hard-wired for connection, why would we fear empathy?

As I continued to read the various articles on empathy, I had more and more questions. Dr. Brene Brown said it best when she wrote:

“Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of ‘You’re not alone.’”

The Scientific American article had an interesting approach to empathy. Asking your friends, family, and coworkers what empathy is for them might open a new door to understanding and helping those around us.

It is time to break out of your comfort zone! Start the empathy conversation today!