Conversation Versus Confrontation

I am worried. When did it come to this? When did having a conversation with another human being automatically equate to confrontation?

I’ve been thinking about this for days now. I cannot let it go. While discussing with a friend of mine recently, he was sharing how we wanted to establish guidelines with his roommates. You know, rules! House rules, apartment rules, guidelines to where everyone could live in harmony rules.

The suggestions he provided were basic. Things most of us had to do when we were kids living in our parents’ home. I did not think much about it at the time, as the conversation seemed easy. But who wouldn’t establish boundaries (guidelines or rules) in this kind of living arrangement?

Things changed when I asked how the conversation with the roommates went. The look on my friend’s face was priceless. It was the look of, what, are you kidding me? I have not said anything. I asked why. The response was not what I was expecting. He said he would not say anything because he did not want to rock the boat. He feared the reactions of his mates, and they would be angry with his suggested guidelines.

I asked him how he would know what response he would get if he didn’t have the conversation. I don’t want the confrontation, he said. That is when it hit me, when did a conversation equate to confrontation?

I am not talking about politics or religion here; I understand those topics are a hotbed of emotion for many. As a result, many of us never bring those topics up for fear of confrontation or feeling like we have to defend our position. Instead, I am talking about a conversation with friends where you would like to share how you would like to be treated in their company, world, apartment, or home. Why can’t we talk to each other with respect? What is wrong with establishing healthy boundaries about what we will and will not accept in how people treat us? The answer is simple. NOTHING! 

There is so much conversation today about people wanting to feel connected. Connected to their friends, families, and co-workers. Humans are social beings; of course, we want to feel connected. So why would you disconnect by not sharing how you think about things? It is simple, really, have a conversation. Be respectful, share your guidelines and be respectful of the responses you receive, even if you disagree.

A conversation does not mean confrontation unless you turn it into one!